Monday, May 13, 2002

This is an exact replica of a supposedly actual letter
a daughter wrote to her parents from college.



Dear Mom and Dad,

It has now been three months since I left for college.
I have been remiss in writing this and I am very sorry
for my thoughtlessness in not having written before.
I will bring you up to date now, but, before you read
on, please sit down.

YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING
DOWN.
OKAY!

Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The
skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped
out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire
shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I
only get those sick headaches once a day.

Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were
witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the
dorm, and he was the one who called the fire
department and the ambulance.

He also visited me at the hospital and, since I had
nowhere to live because of the burned out dormitory,
he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment
with him. It's really a basement room, but it's kind
of
cute.

He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in
love and are planning to be married. We haven't set
the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy
begins to show.

Yes, Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much
you are looking forward to being grandparents and I
know you will welcome the baby and give it the love,
devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a
child.

The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my
boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us
from passing our pre- marital blood tests,and I
carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up
with the penicillin injections I am having daily.

I know you will welcome him into our family with open
arms. He is kind and,although not well educated, he is
ambitious. Although he is of a different race and
religion than ours, I know your often expressed
tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the
fact that his skin color is somewhat different than
ours.

I am sure you will love him as I do. His family
background is good too, for I am told that his father
is an important gun-bearer in the village from which
he came.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell
you that the truth is there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a
concussion or a skull fracture.I was not in the
hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged. I do
not have syphilis and there is no man in my life.

However, I am getting a 'D' in History and an 'F' in
Science and I wanted you to see those marks in the
proper perspective. Anyway this news is better than
those above.

Your Loving Daughter.

The point of this? i hope i don't have to resort to these kinda letter IF i fail any subjects. Hope that never happens.

No comments: