An Eternity of suffering

I understand that i have dissapointed alot of people. Everytime a person asks me when i'll be going back to Melbourne, I have the repeat the same lines over and over again, until i feel like buying a recorder and carrying it with me to save my energy in explaining it. I understand that my parents fear that i can't make it. They too often have seen people going through the same path as have and it hurts them to think that i too may be one of those people who don't succeed.

Life right now for me is a living hell. University has helped me see my true capabilities, and yet somehow, recently i've been lacking. Like how it took a car collision to turn my materials engineering from a definite fail to a high distinction. But then when i look back at the projects that really meant the most to me, these are the ones that required the most amount of effort, sweat, hairloss and loss of sleep. I suppose i should stop waiting for the lightning to strike me.

I was just watching some anime when i had a call from australia. It was Julian, Colin, Wan Sze and Felicity. They again reminded me to work hard, so that my reward would be among their presence like how we used to be when i was there for the whole of 2002. Although i am hopeful that i'll return, i also have to think practically and realistically. I will perform my best here, and i will complete my course. My friends, it seems that this is my living hell that i have to go through, and i'm sure that this period in my life would surely have an impact on my life on a whole.

So guys, what goes around comes around. I got what i deserve, I'll cherish the times that we had, and i'll regret forever the great times that i'll miss not being there right now. Till we meet again ECSE classmates and friends in OZland.

Colin, I really do wanna cry now man. Sob.

Thought of the moment:
"I feel like shit"